Hi friends, welcome to October! A few days ago, I asked Lucas if he wanted me to change his diaper in his room or in the living room where he was playing (we’re working on choices so he doesn’t just say “no”!) His response: “I want to sit in the poop.” I laughed and shook my head thinking how silly it was that he would rather keep doing what he was doing in a dirty diaper than take the time to clean up and then get back to his toys. But you know what? You and I make this choice all the time as adults (obviously in our case the poop is a metaphor!) Wether it’s a toxic relationship, an unfulfilling career, or an unhealthy belief, we often choose to stay in the comfort of what’s not working even when there are better options.
I get it, change is hard. It’s much easier to keep doing what we’re doing and justify the not-so-great outcome than to take action. I dated a dude I barely liked for almost six months because I didn’t want to go through the messy and uncomfortable break-up process! Most of us are over-caffeinated, over-stimulated, over-sugared, and as a result, underwhelmed by the way we feel. Yet we can always find an excuse to push off eating healthier, going to yoga, or giving our phones a break. Amiright?
Change is also scary. We may not be happy in our current state of affairs, but at least we know what that’s like and we’ve learned to live with it. What if being single sucks even more than being with Mr. Eeh, or that new job turns out to be even worse than the one we left? And what if the grass IS greener on the other side? We’re actually afraid of that too. In Brene Brown’s latest Netflix documentary, she talks about our resistance to truly experiencing joy for fear of the disappointment we’ll feel when the other shoe inevitably drops.
It feels much safer, and it’s definitely easier, to carve out a spot and hide somewhere in the middle where life is maybe not that good, but at least it’s not that bad. And that’s a shame, because you and I are absolutely worth the time, energy, and risk it takes to aim for way better than that.
The good news is that we rarely need to overhaul our entire lives in order to get out of the mud. Taking a walk during your lunch hour when you’re having a bad day at work, calling a good friend when you’re feeling down, or planning a date night with your person when you feel like your relationship needs a little pick-me-up are easy ways to upgrade your daily experience. Shifting your energy (by going to yoga, cough cough), letting go of regret, forgiving a grudge, or showing yourself a little self-care can also work wonders.
No matter how you do it, commit to giving yourself the best chance at the life you want. Unless you’re playing with Lightning McQeen cars and singing along to Baby Shark, you really have no excuse for sitting in the poop.